Information For Parents

College is a time of significant change for college students and it can sometimes be hard for parents to understand why their child may be struggling or the cause of their struggles. Below are some examples of how life or college may be different from the life students have experienced before.

Academically

Opportunities

  • Academic Freedom
  • College Thinking
  • Explore a multitude of learning venues
  • Learn from passionate instructors
  • Participate in invigorating classroom discussions
  • Navigate meaningful career possibilities

Challenges

  • Academic Responsibility
  • High School Thinking
  • Procrastination and lack of motivation
  • Tension with instructors
  • Avoidance of classroom involvement
  • Tests, grades competition, performance anxiety, and diminished study and time management skills
  • Uncertain vocational goals and career direction

Socially

Opportunities

  • Social Freedom
  • Meet new friends
  • Participate in campus community
  • Professional networking
  • Romantic relationships

Challenges

  • Social Responsibility
  • Finding a niche, loneliness, diminished social support, homesickness
  • Interpersonal conflicts, coping with loss
  • Making difficult choices - drugs & alcohol, sexual health, and personal safety

Personally

Opportunities

  • Personal freedom
  • Identity exploration
  • Value clarification
  • Moral development
  • Enhanced family connection
  • Improved wellness

Challenges

  • Personal responsibility
  • Self-esteem issues
  • Confusion, difficult ethical choices
  • Parental pressures and expectations
  • Financial concerns
  • Unbalanced lifestyle, unrealistic expectations
  • Crisis and unexpected events

Substance Use Statistics

Alcohol

  • 37.1% of college age drinkers met the criteria for alcohol abuse within the last two weeks.
  • 24.7% of students did not designate a driver when they partied.
  • 34.9% of students do not keep track of how many drinks they have.
  • 15.5% of students report drinking 10 or more days out of the month.

Source – American College Health Association, National College Health Assessment, Reference Group Executive Summary, Spring 2006

Marijuana

  • 2nd most abused drug on campuses in the U.S.
  • 14.4% of college students use at least once a month

Commonly abused prescription medication

  • Adderall & Ritalin
  • Xanax
  • Painkillers
  • Muscle Relaxants
  • Anti-depressants

The Changing Mental Health Needs of Today’s College Students

  • Increased demand for counseling services
  • Increased levels of student stress
  • Increase in serious diagnoses
    • Severe depression
    • Eating disorders
    • Bipolar disorders
    • Anxiety disorders

A Hopefully Statistic

  • 73% of college students say their parents are their leading influence for health-related information.

Source – American College Health Association, National College Health Assessment, Reference Group Executive Summary, Spring 2006

  • Be understanding and supportive of the intensity of demands on students; listen first.
  • Ask what they are doing about problem situations – reinforce constructive behaviors.
  • Encourage seeking help from professors, Math, Computer and English Labs, etc.
  • Don’t be afraid to share some of your own academic struggles.
  • Be aware of supports available at the university and point them in those directions (Reading Center, Writing Center, Sam Center, Counseling Center, Career Center)
  • Continue the dialogue
    • Don’t glamorize drinking
  • Communicate regularly & ask a lot of questions
  • Create shared expectations
    • Set realistic goals
  • Expect your student to be responsible for their actions
    • Discuss consequences
  • Know and Respect the law and university policies
  • Share the facts
    • Low risk drinking vs. high risk drinking
    • Helping a friend in danger

Changing Roles: The Five B's

  • Be Active
    • Ask questions
  • Be Aware
    • of the signs of distress (see below)
  • Be Careful
    • of becoming the “helicopter parent”
    • Try to walk the line of between there and letting them make the mistakes they need to in order to learn
  • Be Understanding
    • that this is their college experience
    • not yours, their siblings, etc.
  • Be Supportive
    • in spite of new ideas... and piercings...and tattoos...

Tips for Recognizing Distressed Students

Marked Changes in Academic Performance or Behavior

  • Poor performance and preparation
  • Excessive absences or tardiness
  • Repeated requests for special consideration especially when this represents a change from previous functioning
  • Unusual or changed pattern of interaction
  • Avoiding participation
  • Dominating discussions
  • Excessively anxious when called upon
  • Attention/memory difficulties
  • Disruptive behavior
  • Problems with roommates or family
  • Exaggerated emotional response obviously inappropriate to the situation

Unusual Behavior or Appearance

  • Depressed or lethargic mood
  • Hyperactivity or very rapid speech
  • Swollen or red eyes
  • Change in personal hygiene or dress
  • Dramatic weight loss or gain
  • Strange or bizarre behavior indicating loss of contact with reality
  • Abrupt or radical changes in behavior
  • Overuse or regular use of illicit drugs, alcohol, and/or medication (without medical monitoring)

References to Suicide, Homicide, or Death

  • Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
  • Overt references to suicide
  • Isolation from friends or family
  • Homicidal threats

Sam Houston Counseling Center

1608 Avenue J., Box 2059  | Huntsville, TX 77341-2059  | Phone: 936.294.1720 | Fax: 936.294.2639